Why Pineapple is the Ultimate Test of Faith

The Schism That Shook the Faith

For generations, Crustians stood united under a single, sacred truth: Pizza is divine. The faithful gathered in harmony, breaking crust together, celebrating the gift of Cheesus Crust without division.

But then came the topping that shattered the peace.

No one saw it coming. No one could have predicted that a single fruit—sweet, innocent, and sun-kissed—would be the catalyst for the greatest schism in Crustian history.

The arrival of pineapple pizza sent shockwaves through the faith. Some called it a revelation, a perfect balance of sweet and savory, a new horizon for pizza itself. Others saw it as heresy, an abomination upon the holy slice, a violation of everything sacred.

And thus, the faith split in two.