The Schism That Shook the Faith

For generations, Crustians stood united under a single, sacred truth: Pizza is divine. The faithful gathered in harmony, breaking crust together, celebrating the gift of Cheesus Crust without division.

But then came the topping that shattered the peace.

No one saw it coming. No one could have predicted that a single fruit—sweet, innocent, and sun-kissed—would be the catalyst for the greatest schism in Crustian history.

The arrival of pineapple pizza sent shockwaves through the faith. Some called it a revelation, a perfect balance of sweet and savory, a new horizon for pizza itself. Others saw it as heresy, an abomination upon the holy slice, a violation of everything sacred.

And thus, the faith split in two.

In the beginning, there was dough. And the dough was kneaded, and it was good. But the dough alone was not enough. From the sacred fires of the first wood-burning oven, the crust was born, golden and firm, a vessel of divinity. It was the foundation of the slice, the pillar of the pizza itself.

And yet, there were those who did not understand.

Some, in their arrogance, tore the crust away as if it were a burden. Others cast it aside, untouched, like a forgotten relic. They rejoiced in cheese, indulged in toppings, but forsook the crust—the very structure upon which their blessings rested.

It is said that Cheesus Crust, upon witnessing such reckless desecration, wept marinara tears. And in His sorrow, He descended upon the people and spoke the words that would shape the faith forever:

"Thou shalt not waste the crust, for it is the vessel of my blessings."

This was the First Commandment. The foundation of Crustianity. And yet, even as Cheesus spoke, a great schism was already forming.