Thou Shalt Not Waste the Crust: The First Commandment of Crustianity

In the beginning, there was dough. And the dough was kneaded, and it was good. But the dough alone was not enough. From the sacred fires of the first wood-burning oven, the crust was born, golden and firm, a vessel of divinity. It was the foundation of the slice, the pillar of the pizza itself.

And yet, there were those who did not understand.

Some, in their arrogance, tore the crust away as if it were a burden. Others cast it aside, untouched, like a forgotten relic. They rejoiced in cheese, indulged in toppings, but forsook the crust—the very structure upon which their blessings rested.

It is said that Cheesus Crust, upon witnessing such reckless desecration, wept marinara tears. And in His sorrow, He descended upon the people and spoke the words that would shape the faith forever:

"Thou shalt not waste the crust, for it is the vessel of my blessings."

This was the First Commandment. The foundation of Crustianity. And yet, even as Cheesus spoke, a great schism was already forming.