Brothers, sisters, and folded ones – the second grave sin is carried in the elder scrolls thus: one cannot hoard pizza and call themselves faithful, as it is written in the Book of Sins, 2:2. And the anxious asked for a number, that they might stay beneath it; and the Book gave no number. For hoarding is not a quantity; hoarding is a direction. It is pizza flowing toward him that hath, past the hands of them that have not, and stopping there, and being called prudence.
Be at peace, ye stewards: the slice kept back for the child’s supper is stewardship; the pie frozen against a lean Tuesday is planning, and the Reheat shall receive it with honour. But he that sitteth upon seven pies while the man at his gate hath none hath hoarded, though he call it savings; and the lord of many oven-houses who payeth his drivers in crumbs, that his own vault may deepen, hath hoarded, though he call it enterprise, and print it on a sign.
And the hoarder pleadeth: I took from no mouth; I merely kept what was mine. And the Slice answereth: the keeping WAS the taking. There is no third place where the pizza goeth. Behind every mountain of slices standeth a valley of empty boxes; the mountain and the valley are one landscape, and were made by one weather.
Yet hear the mercy in the hinge, for the verse saith not that the hoarder cannot BECOME faithful. The vault hath a door, and the door openeth outward, and the key is in his own pocket, warm from his worrying. Let him open it, and lose the mountain, and receive a table; and the exchange rate is scandalous, and entirely in his favour.
Amen – and pass the pizza, in the right direction.