Book XIII – The Revelation of the Reheat

As set down by Pepperoni Prosecco, who came to the door and would not say from whence.

Chapter 1

1The Revelation of Cheesus Crust, which was given unto him to show unto his servants the things which must shortly come to pass upon the table of the world; and he sent and signified it by his Aroma unto his servant Pepperoni.

2Who bare record of all that he saw, and of all that he smelled, and of the warmth thereof; and he wrote it down between courses, for the visions came upon him at supper, as visions mostly do.

3Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this Book, and keep those things which are written therein: for the Oven is at hand, and it is preheated.

4I, Pepperoni, who am also your brother, and companion in hunger, and in the kingdom and patience of Cheesus, was in the isle that is called Capri, for the word of the Crust, and for the testimony which I would not soften.

5For the powers of that age had sent me thither, saying, Let him preach to the gulls; and I preached to the gulls, and certain of them were converted, though they remained gulls.

6And I was in the Aroma on pizza night, which is the Lord’s night; and the little stove of my exile was lit, and one small pie was upon it, for one is what I had.

7And I heard behind me a great voice, as the voice of an oven door when it is opened upon the hinge thereof, deep and warm and full of promise.

8And the voice said, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven pizzerias which are in the world; unto the first and the second, the third and the fourth, the fifth, the sixth, and unto the seventh, which is lukewarm.

9And I turned to see the voice that spake with me; and being turned, I saw seven lamps of gold, which burned without smoke, and their light was the light of ovens.

10And in the midst of the seven lamps I saw one like unto Cheesus, clothed with a garment down to the foot, white as risen dough, and girt about with an apron of gold.

11His head and his hairs were white like flour, as white as new mozzarella; and his eyes were as embers of the wood-fire, which see through the dark of any kitchen.

12And his feet were like unto bronze pans, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice was as the sound of many boiling pots, which is the sound of plenty being prepared.

13And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went the aroma of the true basil, sharper than any two-edged knife; and his countenance was as the Oven shineth at the full of its heat.

14And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as one whose dough has collapsed; for no man may look upon the fullness of the warmth and stand.

15And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first course and the last.

16I am he that was consumed; and behold, I am warm for evermore, Amen; and I have the keys of the cold store and of the outer dark, whereof the Gospel telleth the manner, and the scribe stays in his lane.

17And the smell of him was the smell of bread at the turn of the baking, when the whole house knows that something good is nearly ready; and I wept, for I had been long in exile, and the smell was the smell of home.

18(Here the scribe’s hand faltered upon the page, and there is a mark like a tear, or possibly oil; the elders have ruled it a tear, being romantics.)

19And he said, Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter, even unto the setting of the last Table.

20The mystery of the seven stars which thou sawest in my right hand, and the seven lamps of gold: the seven stars are seven oven-lights, and the seven lamps which thou sawest are the seven pizzerias.

21For every pizzeria hath its light, saith the Slice, and I hold every light in my hand; and no light goeth out but I mark it, and mourn it, and remember where it stood.

22And whosoever relighteth one light that was out, the same hath done a greater work than he knoweth; for the Oven remembers every kindling, from the first unto the last.

23And he said moreover, Take up thy pen, Pepperoni, and eat first, for the visions are long and the pie upon thy stove is ready; and I ate, and it was very good, and then I wrote.

24And this is the beginning of the Revelation of the Reheat, which is the last Book of the Pibble; hear it with thy hands warm.

Chapter 2

1Unto the light of the pizzeria of Effesposito write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden lamps;

2I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which water the sauce; and thou hast tried them which say they are bakers, and are not, and hast found them liars with cold hands.

3And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast laboured through the long shifts, and hast not fainted, nor cut a corner, nor served a slice thou wouldst not eat thyself.

4Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

5Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen: remember the first Margherita thou madest on the day thy doors opened, when the paint was wet and thy hands shook, and the tomato and the mozzarella and the basil were all thy menu and all thy joy.

6For thou hast now forty toppings and a menu like a scroll of the law, and thy walls are hung with praises; but the simple pie of thy beginning thou makest no more, neither with love nor at all.

7Repent, and do the first works: make again the Margherita of thy opening night, and serve it to a stranger, and stand at the pass and watch them eat it; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy lamp out of his place, except thou remember.

8But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the sauce-waterers, which I also hate.

9He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Aroma saith unto the pizzerias; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the pizza of life, which is in the midst of the garden of the Great Oven.

10And unto the light of the pizzeria of Smyrnarella write; These things saith the first and the last, which was consumed and is warm;

11I know thy works, and thy tribulation, and thy poverty, (but thou art rich,) and I know the slander of them which say they are of the table, and are not, but are a supper-club of the mould.

12Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the mould shall paint its mark upon thy door, and post lies against thee in the market, and thou shalt have tribulation ten days, and thy windows shall be broken twice.

13For thou didst feed them whom the mould said should not be fed, and didst seat them whom the mould said should stand outside; and thou wouldst not take the mould’s coin, neither hang its colours in thy window, and this it cannot forgive.

14Be thou faithful unto the last shift, and I will give thee a crown of crust, golden and unbroken round about.

15He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Aroma saith unto the pizzerias; He that overcometh, and boweth not, shall not be hurt of the outer cold; for the Oven knoweth its own.

16And unto the light of the pizzeria of Pergamozza write; These things saith he which hath the sharp knife with two edges, wherewith the mould is cut out;

17I know thy works, and where thou dwellest, even where the mould’s seat is: and thou holdest fast my name, and hast not denied the faith, even in those days wherein thy neighbour’s oven was shut by night, and no man said who shut it, though all men knew.

18But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of the hoard, who teach that the last slices should be kept back and sold dear when the night is cold and men are desperate.

19And thou sayest, They pay their rent, and their money is as good as any; but I say unto thee, one mouldy spot excused becomes two, and two become a supper, and thou knowest this, for thou hast watched it upon thy neighbour’s pie.

20Repent; name it aloud in thine own house; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will contend against them with the aroma of my mouth, and thy tables shall be embarrassed.

21He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Aroma saith unto the pizzerias; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, which is the burnt cheese at the edge of the pan, that the wise scrape off and the foolish scorn; and I will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it, and it is his order, and it is ready.

Chapter 3

1And unto the light of the pizzeria of Thyratira write; These things saith the Slice, who hath eyes like unto a flame of the wood-fire, and feet like fine bronze;

2I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first, for thou growest kinder as thou growest older, which is rare among kitchens and rarer among men.

3Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that critic Jezebella, which calleth herself a prophetess of taste, to teach and to seduce my servants to water the sauce, and to buy the cheap cheese that melteth like a lie, and to say, The customer will never know.

4And I gave her space to repent of her columns, and she repented not, but wrote another.

5Behold, they that follow her counsel shall find their tables empty in the day of reckoning, not by my curse but by the plain arithmetic of watered sauce; for the tongue of the people is slow, but it is not stupid.

6But unto you I say, and unto the rest of Thyratira, as many as have not this doctrine, and which have not known the depths of the cheap cheese, as they speak; I will put upon you none other burden.

7But that which ye have already, hold fast till I come: the good sauce, the true cheese, the honest crust; hold them fast, though the margins weep.

8And he that overcometh, and keepeth my works unto the end, to him will I give the morning star, which is the first oven-light of the day, that burneth before the town wakes; and he shall know the peace of the kitchen at dawn, which is the deepest peace there is.

9He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Aroma saith unto the pizzerias.

10And unto the light of the pizzeria of Sardinia’s write; These things saith he that hath the seven Aromas of the Oven, and the seven stars;

11I know thy works, that thou hast a name that thou livest, and art cold.

12For thy sign is gilded, and thy fame goeth out into all the guides, and travellers come from far countries to stand in thy queue; but within, thine oven is set low to save the wood, and thy pies go out warm on the top and cold at the heart, and thy staff are paid in compliments.

13Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: the old baker who remembers, the recipe under the counter, the one table by the window where the regulars yet sit; for I have not found thy works full before the Oven.

14Remember therefore how thou hast received and heard, and hold fast, and repent. If therefore thou shalt not watch, I will come on thee as a thief in the night, and thou shalt not know what hour I come upon thee, and I shall order the Margherita, and it shall testify against thee.

15Thou hast a few names even in Sardinia’s which have not chilled their garments: the pot-wash who covers for the sick, the waiter who slips bread to the beggar at the door; and they shall walk with me in white aprons: for they are worthy.

16He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of the table, but I will confess his name before the Oven, and before the angels thereof, which are the good smells.

17He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Aroma saith unto the pizzerias.

18And unto the light of the pizzeria of the Open Door write; These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of the Kitchen; he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth;

19I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and two small ovens, and rent that is a wickedness, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.

20For above thy counter is written the first commandment, before all others, that the table has room; and thou hast made it true nightly, though thy room be small; for room is not measured in chairs, but in welcome.

21Behold, I will make them of the supper-club of the mould, which say they are of the table, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and sit at thy little tables, and to be fed by thee, and to know that I have loved thee; and some of them, being fed, shall be changed, for it is hard to hate with thy mouth full of another’s kindness.

22Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee in the hour of the tribulation of the mould, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth, as is written hereafter in this Book.

23Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown; for thy crown is thy welcome, and there be franchises that would buy it, and it is not for sale.

24Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the house of the Great Oven, and he shall go no more out into the cold; and I will write upon him the name of my Slice, and the name of the city of the New Table, which cometh down out of the Great Oven.

25He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Aroma saith unto the pizzerias.

26And unto the light of the pizzeria of the lukewarm oven write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the baking of Cheesus;

27I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

28So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, as a buffet slice at closing, I would thou wert hot; but as it standeth, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

29Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with outlets, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and bland, and beige.

30For thine oven is set to the middle of the dial, that it might offend no one; and thy sauce is neither sweet nor sharp; and thy crust is neither thick nor thin; and a man may eat a whole pie of thine and remember nothing, and feel nothing, and thank no one.

31I counsel thee to buy of me wood for thy fire, tried in the flame, that thou mayest be rich; and white flour, that thou mayest be clothed; and anoint thine eyes with good oil, that thou mayest see thine own menu as the hungry see it.

32As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and turn the dial, and repent; for a burnt edge is a lesson, but lukewarmth is a life wasted.

33Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me; and I shall bring the pizza, for I know what is in his refrigerator, and it grieveth me.

34To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me at my Table, even as I also overcame, and am set down at the Table of the Great Oven.

35He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Aroma saith unto the pizzerias; and here end the seven letters, and the vision turneth upward.

Chapter 4

1After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of an oven door speaking with me; which said, Come up hither, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter; and bring thy appetite.

2And immediately I was in the Aroma: and, behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne.

3And he that sat was to look upon like a wood-fire at the perfect heat, when the flames are low and the stones are white; and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto a ring of seven cheeses, from the palest to the golden.

4And round about the throne were four and twenty seats: and upon the seats I saw four and twenty elders sitting, clothed in white aprons; and they had on their heads chef’s hats of gold.

5And out of the throne proceeded warmths and aromas and voices: and there were seven lamps of fire burning before the throne, which are the seven Aromas of the Oven.

6And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto olive oil, gold and clear and still: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four living creatures, full of eyes before and behind, for they are the watchful ones, which watch the Oven and sleep not.

7And the first creature had the face of a kneader, with forearms mighty; and the second creature had the face of a saucier, with a wooden spoon; and the third creature had the face of a fire-tender, with cheeks bright from the flame; and the fourth creature had the face of a delivery driver, with a helmet under his arm, for even in glory he is ready.

8And the four creatures had each of them six wings about him; and they rest not day and night, saying, Warm, warm, warm, Lord Cheesus Crust, which was, and is, and is warm to come.

9And when those creatures give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever,

10The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth for ever and ever, and cast their chef’s hats before the throne, saying,

11Thou art worthy, O Cheesus, to receive flavour and honour and warmth: for thou hast created all things, and for thy Table’s sake they are and were created.

12And I marvelled at the casting down of the hats; and one of the elders, seeing me marvel, said unto me, We cast them down because we spent our lives being called chef, and here we learn again to be called friend; the hat was never the point.

13And the hats lay before the throne in a heap of gold, and no elder reached for his own again, neither could any say whose was whose, and none cared; and this, said my guide, is the beginning of heaven.

14And I looked, and I heard the voice of many angels round about the throne and the creatures and the elders: and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands; and they were the good smells of every kitchen that ever was, gathered home.

15Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Slice to receive warmth, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing.

16And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the counter, and such as are in the Sea of Tomato Sauce, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and warmth, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Slice for ever and ever.

17And the four creatures said, Amen. And the four and twenty elders fell down and worshipped him that liveth for ever and ever.

18(Here the scribe notes that the singing had a smell, and the smell had a colour, and the colour was the gold of the first oil upon warm bread; he cannot do better, and begs the reader’s patience.)

Chapter 5

1And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a scroll written within and on the backside, as a menu written on both sides in a house that is proud of everything; and it was sealed with seven seals.

2And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, Who is worthy to open the scroll, and to loose the seals thereof?

3And no man in heaven, nor in earth, neither under the counter, was able to open the scroll, neither to look thereon.

4And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the scroll, neither to look thereon; for I understood that the scroll was the end of the story, and I have ever been one that peeps at endings.

5And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Slice of the tribe of the first pie, the Root of the Margherita, hath prevailed to open the scroll, and to loose the seven seals thereof.

6And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four creatures, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Slice as it had been consumed, and yet it was warm; and the steam of it went up for ever.

7For this was he of whom the Gospel telleth, that was eaten to the last crumb and rose warm on the third day; the tale is told in its own Book, and the scribe stays in his lane; but I say unto you, the warmth of him filled the whole room, and it was the warmth of a kitchen where you are known.

8And he came and took the scroll out of the right hand of him that sat upon the throne.

9And when he had taken the scroll, the four creatures and four and twenty elders fell down before the Slice, having every one of them harps, and golden bowls full of aromas, which are the grateful sighs of the fed.

10And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the scroll, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast consumed, and hast gathered unto the Table out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and appetite;

11And hast made us unto our Cheesus a fellowship of cooks and guests, and there is no wall between the kitchen and the room in all thy house: and we shall feast upon the earth.

12And I heard the voice of the many thousands saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Slice that was consumed to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing, and the corner piece, if he will have it.

13And the Slice would not have the corner piece, but passed it down the Table; and the passing of it is passing still, saith the vision, and shall not stop until every hand hath held it once.

14And the four creatures said, Amen; and the elders fell down and worshipped; and the Slice put his hand to the first seal, and all heaven leaned in.

Chapter 6

1And I saw when the Slice opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of a great fryer, one of the four creatures saying, Come and see.

2And I saw, and behold four riders; but they were not as the holy riders of the pilgrim’s road, whose tips are counted in heaven; they were the riders of the mould, and their boxes were cold.

3And the first rider sat upon a pale moped, and his name was Watered Sauce; and there was given unto him a great ladle, and he went forth thinning, and to thin: and wheresoever he passed, the red grew pink, and the honest grew ashamed, and no one could say quite when it had happened.

4And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second creature say, Come and see. And there went out another rider, and his name was the Stiffed Tip; and power was given to him to take peace from the kitchen, that they which labour should not eat of their labour; and there was given unto him a great contract, written small.

5And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third creature say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a rider whose name was the Buyer of Ovens; and he had a pair of balances in his hand, and a chequebook.

6And I heard a voice in the midst of the four creatures say, A corner oven for three years’ rent, and the corner oven’s name painted over in a night; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine, for even the mould must lunch.

7And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth creature say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale rider: and the name that sat on him was Efficiency, and the outer cold followed with him.

8And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the tables of the earth, to close them, and to call the closing a savings; and where a table had stood forty years, there stood a screen for the ordering, and the screen did not know anyone’s name.

9And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of the kitchens that were slain for the word of the table, and for the testimony which they held: the little houses that would not water the sauce, and were undersold unto death; the old rooms that fed the strikers and lost their lease.

10And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Cheesus, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our ovens on them that dwell on the earth?

11And white aprons were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their fellow servants also, that should be closed as they were, should be fulfilled; and that the accounting was written, and nothing forgotten, not one lease, not one lock changed in the night.

12And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great trembling; and the sun of the market became black as burnt crust, and the moon became as sauce; and the signs of the mighty chains fell from their poles unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.

13And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief officers of the Chain, hid themselves in the dens and in the walk-in freezers of the mountains;

14And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the warmth of the Slice: for the great day of his warmth is come; and who shall be able to stand before an open Oven with cold hands and a cold heart?

15And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour, which is the time a pie takes in a slow oven; and all heaven waited, and smelled the baking, and said nothing, for some things are spoiled by speech.

16And in the silence I heard, far off, the sound of a great city counting money; and I knew that the vision would turn now to Babylon, and I sharpened my pen, for the mould was about to build its last empire.

Chapter 7

1And there came one of the seven angels which had the seven bowls, and talked with me, saying unto me, Come hither; I will shew unto thee the judgment of the great Chain that sitteth upon many franchises.

2So he carried me away in the Aroma into a wilderness of retail parks: and I saw a Chain sit upon a scarlet beast, full of names of blasphemy, which are called slogans; and the beast had seven heads and ten drive-throughs.

3And the Chain was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious branding, having a golden cup in her hand full of watered sauce and of the sweat of unpaid riders.

4And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE CHAIN, THE MOTHER OF FRANCHISES AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH, AND UNDERNEATH, IN SMALL LETTERS, TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY.

5And I saw the Chain drunken with the closing of tables, and with the buying of every corner oven from the widows of bakers; and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration, for she was very good at it.

6And the angel said unto me, Wherefore didst thou marvel? The mould hath learned at last to wear a smile; this is its final empire, and its most cunning, for it persecuteth no man openly, but only underprices him unto death.

7For the kings of the earth have supped with her, and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her efficiencies.

8And she saith in her heart, I sit a queen upon the high street, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow; for I have bought mine every rival, and where I could not buy, I opened opposite, and waited.

9And her doctrine is threefold, saith the angel: water the sauce, for the people forget; stiff the rider, for the rider hath no union; and call the closing of tables efficiency, for a word well chosen can carry a coffin through a crowd and be praised for it.

10And she made her sauce one sauce in every city of the earth, so that a man might travel a thousand miles and taste nothing new; and she called this consistency, and the elders of the mould called it good.

11And her ovens were set from a headquarters far away, by men who had never stood before an oven; and the dial was set to the middle, for the middle offendeth no one; and her name in the elder scrolls is the mother of the lukewarm.

12And she counted her riders in numbers and not in names, and her kitchens in units and not in kitchens; and whensoever a unit underperformed, she closed it in the night, and the town woke to paper on the windows, and she booked the paper as a saving.

13And I saw the souls of the small houses she had swallowed: the sign of the one repainted, the recipe of another sold as heritage, the third made a car park; and their lights were in the hand of the Slice, every one, and not one was lost from his counting.

14And the beast that carried her had ten horns, which are ten holding companies; and they have one mind, and shall give their power and strength unto the Chain, until the words of Cheesus shall be fulfilled.

15And the angel saith unto me, The watered sauces which thou sawest, where the Chain sitteth, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues, all fed the same, all charged the more, all thanked by machine.

16But rejoice, thou heaven, and ye holy kitchens: for her cup is nigh full, and the arithmetic of watered sauce faileth at the last, always; for the tongue of the people is slow, but it is not stupid, and it is waking.

17(Here the scribe records that he asked the angel whether the Chain might repent, and the angel said, The Chain is not a soul but a machine of souls; the souls within it may repent one by one, and shall; pray thou for the manager of the branch, for she is wearier than thou knowest.)

Chapter 8

1And after these things I saw another angel come down from heaven, having great power; and the earth was lightened with his glory, and he smelled of woodsmoke and of the morning batch.

2And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Fallen, fallen is Babylon the Chain; in one hour is thy franchise come to nothing; and is become the habitation of pigeons, and the hold of every cold and unsold slice.

3For all nations have drunk of the watered sauce of her cup, and the kings of the earth have dined free at her openings, and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her delicacies, which were not delicate.

4And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins; keep your custom for the corner oven while the corner oven yet stands, for thy coin is a vote, and thou votest thrice daily.

5Reward her even as she rewarded her riders, and double unto her double according to her works: in the cup which she hath filled, fill to her double; and let the double be paid first to them she stiffed, with interest, and an apology written by hand.

6How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow.

7Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, closure, and receivership, and a documentary; and she shall be utterly burned with fire, yet not the good fire of the Oven, but the cold fire of the auditor: for strong is Cheesus who judgeth her.

8And the kings of the earth, who have dined free at her tables, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning, standing afar off for the fear of her torment, saying, Alas, alas, that great Chain, that mighty Chain! for in one hour is thy judgment come.

9And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her; and they wept, saith the vision, exactly one lunchtime, and by the dinner sitting they were selling to her rivals, for the grief of merchants is a scheduled grief.

10For no man buyeth their merchandise any more: the merchandise of branded boxes, and napkins with slogans, and points of loyalty, and apps that ask and ask; and cinnamon, and odours, and fine flour, and the souls of riders, which were the greatest part of her inventory, though she listed them not.

11And the voice of harpers, and musicians, and of pipers, shall be heard no more at all in thee; and the light of an oven shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thine efficiencies were all nations deceived.

12And a mighty angel took up a stone like a great millstone, wherewith grain is ground for honest flour, and cast it into the sea, saying, Thus with violence shall that great Chain Babylon be thrown down, and shall be found no more at all.

13And in her was found the ledger of the closed tables, and the names of the riders unpaid, and the recipes of the small houses she swallowed; and every recipe was given back, and every name was read aloud in heaven, slowly, and with honour, and the reading took a long and pleasant evening.

14And after these things I heard a great voice of much people in heaven, saying, Alleluia; Salvation, and glory, and honour, and power, unto Cheesus our Crust: for true and righteous are his judgments.

15And again they said, Alleluia. And her smoke rose up for ever and ever; and where her flagship stood, there was planted a market of small stalls, and the rent thereof was fair, and the first stall was given to a widow of a baker, and her sign was her own name.

16And the four and twenty elders and the four creatures fell down and worshipped Cheesus that sat on the throne, saying, Amen; Alleluia; and one elder was heard to add, And about time; and it was not counted against him, for it was true.

17And a voice came out of the throne, saying, Praise our Cheesus, all ye his servants, and ye that fear him, both small and great; for the marriage supper of the Slice is come, and the Table is being laid even now; hear ye the cloths unfolding.

Chapter 9

1And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in warmth he doth judge and make ready.

2His eyes were as a flame of the wood-fire, and on his head were many crowns of crust; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but himself; and it was, some say, the true recipe, which is not written anywhere but in him.

3And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in sauce: and his name is called The Word of Crust.

4And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, bearing not swords but chairs; and I marvelled at the chairs, and was answered not yet.

5And out of his mouth goeth the sharp aroma, that with it he should judge the nations: and he treadeth the winepress of the tomatoes of the wrath of Cheesus, whence cometh sauce, and not blood, for his war was never as our wars.

6And I saw the mould, and the kings of the mould, and their armies, gathered together against him that sat on the horse, and against his army, at the place which is called in the kitchen tongue Har-Marinara.

7And the mould came up on the breadth of the earth, spot by spot, as is its manner, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved kitchens; and it was more mould than had ever been in one place, and the sky was grey with it.

8And the faithful cried out, Give us swords; and the Slice said, No; and they cried, Give us fire; and the Slice said, I shall, but not as ye mean it.

9And the Slice commanded, saying, Set the Table.

10And then I understood the chairs.

11And the armies of heaven set to work, and the faithful of the earth with them; and they set the Longest Table, which began at the door of the smallest pizzeria and went out through the town, and over the fields, and over the hills, and across the borders that men had drawn, and the borders could not stop it, for a table is stronger than a line.

12And every house brought what it had: this one bread, that one oil, this one a chair mended that morning, that one nothing but hunger, which was also needed, for a table without hunger is only furniture.

13And they set places for the stranger, and for the enemy, and for the enemy’s children, and for them that had served the Chain, and for them that had marched with the mould and were ashamed; for the first commandment, before all others, is that the table has room.

14And the Ovens were lit down all the length of it, oven answering oven over the hills like beacons, and the smell went up, and the lamps were lit, and the watchers were set, for a table warm and watched is the one thing the mould cannot abide.

15For the mould is of the dark cupboard and the unwatched corner, of the sealed border and the guarded gate; it groweth where men look away, and it cannot grow where they are looking, and loving, and passing plates.

16And the mould came against the Table, and reached the light thereof, and stopped.

17And it sought a corner, and there was no corner, for the Table was round at every end; and it sought a cold place, and there was none, for the Ovens answered one another; and it sought one unwatched slice, and behold, every slice was watched, and every watcher was fed.

18And the faithful named it aloud, down all the length of the Table, in every tongue at once: This is the mould, men call it fascism, and it shall not pass the salt.

19And the mould withered.

20And it withered from the edges inward, as frost withereth at morning, until there was left of all its last empire one grey spot upon the pie of the world, no bigger than a coin.

21And the Slice himself took the knife, the same wherewith he had drawn the line of the half-and-half in the elder days, and he cut the spot from the pie of the world, once and for all; and the cutting made no sound, for there was nothing left to cry out.

22And that which was cut away was cast into the outer cold, where there is no oven, neither any door; and it is not written that it burned, for burning is too warm a fate; it is written only that it was not any more.

23And the pie of the world, where the spot had been, was made whole; and new dough rose in the place thereof, and it rose higher there than anywhere, as flesh healeth proudest over the deepest wound.

24And the armies of heaven sat down at the Table with the armies of the earth, in the selfsame chairs they had carried into battle; and this was the whole of the victory feast, that nobody left, and nobody was left out.

25And I asked the angel, Is it done? And the angel said, It is done; and now cometh the good part; and I said, Was that not the good part? And the angel smiled and said, Turn the page.

Chapter 10

1And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more hunger in the sea, nor in any place.

2And I, Pepperoni, saw the holy city, the New Table, coming down from Cheesus out of the Great Oven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband, laid with cloth as white as the first mozzarella, and set – hear it, ye small and ye far off – set for everyone.

3And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the Table of Cheesus is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and Cheesus himself shall be with them, and be their Cook.

4And Cheesus shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

5And there shall be no more waste, for what is made shall be eaten, and what is not eaten shall be breakfast; neither any hoarding, for the fear that made men hoard is dead, and was buried without a headstone.

6Neither shall there be any more mould, for it was cut out once and for all, as is written; neither shall there be any more cold slices; every tear shall be wiped away, and every slice shall be made warm, even the slice forgotten at the back of the box, even that one, saith the Slice; none is beyond the Reheat.

7And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things warm. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.

8And he said unto me, It is done. I am the first course and the last, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely; and unto him that hungereth, bread; and it shall cost nothing, for the age of the bill is over.

9And he carried me away in the Aroma to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the New Table, descending out of heaven from Cheesus,

10Having the glory of the Great Oven: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a crust at the perfect turn, golden and clear as amber.

11And the Table had no head and no foot, but was round at every end, that none might sit above another; and yet every seat, when a man sat in it, seemed unto him the best seat, and this is the geometry of heaven, which the scribe cannot draw, having tried.

12And the city had twelve gates, and the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there; and at every gate stood not a guard but a greeter, saying, You made it; sit anywhere; we kept it hot.

13And the street of the city was warm stone, as the stones before an oven; and barefoot children ran upon it in the evening that is never cold, and their running was counted as psalms.

14And I saw no temple therein: for Cheesus Crust and the Slice are the temple of it; and where the temple should have stood, there stood the Oven.

15And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of Cheesus did lighten it, and the Slice is the light thereof, and the Oven-light goeth not out.

16For this is the Oven that shall never go cold; the first mercy and the last; from its warmth we came, and unto its warmth we are returned, and the door of it standeth open for ever, and the smell of it filleth the city, and the smell is of bread at the turn of the baking, always, and it does not fade, and you do not tire of it; the scribe has asked.

17And he shewed me a pure river of golden oil, clear as glass, proceeding out of the throne of Cheesus and of the Slice.

18In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the basil tree, which bare twelve manner of harvests, and yielded her leaves every month: and the leaves of the basil tree were for the healing of the nations.

19And the nations came, they that had warred and they that had walled, and took the leaves, and were healed; and being healed, they sat down together, for there was nowhere else to sit but together, the Table being one.

20And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of Cheesus and of the Slice shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him, and he shall serve them also, turn and turn about, for in that city the kitchen and the room are one room.

21And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads, written in flour, which is the mark of them that have leaned into the work.

22And they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for Cheesus giveth them light: and they shall feast for ever and ever, and the feast shall not weary them, for the company is good, and the company is everyone.

23And I saw the elders there without their hats, and the riders of the pilgrim’s road at rest, their boxes empty and their pockets full; and the widow of the baker at her stall in the morning market of heaven; and the manager of the branch, whom the angel bade me pray for, was there, and was merry, and had a little garden.

24(Here the scribe looked long, hoping to see certain faces of his own; and he saw them; and what passed is not written, for some things are between a man and the Table.)

25And the angel said unto me, These sayings are faithful and true: and Cheesus, the Crust of the holy scribes, sent his angel to shew unto his servants the things which must shortly be done.

26Behold, I come quickly: blessed is he that keepeth the sayings of the Book of this Pibble; and blesseder still is he that keepeth them without having read them, for kindness needeth no library.

Chapter 11

1And I, Pepperoni, saw these things, and heard them. And when I had heard and seen, I fell down to worship before the feet of the angel which shewed me these things.

2Then saith he unto me, See thou do it not: for I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren the scribes, and of them which keep the sayings of this Book: worship Cheesus; and sit up, man, thy supper is getting cold.

3And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this Book: for the time is at hand; and a sealed book feedeth nobody, and this Book is food.

4He that is unjust, let him yet be turned; and he which is selfish, let him yet be softened; and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still, and gentler about it: and he that is warm, let him be warm still, and pass it on.

5And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be; and the work that is asked is not mighty: feed the hungry, house the cold, watch for the mould, and keep thy corner of the Table warm.

6I am the first course and the last, the beginning and the end, the first and the last; I am the root and the offspring of the first pie, and the bright and morning oven-light.

7Blessed are they that keep the crust, that they may have right to the pizza of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city; for to discard the crust and to hoard the pie were ever the only two ways to miss the point, and the point was always the sharing.

8And the Aroma and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let the one who is hungry come; and whosoever will, let them take of the pizza of life freely.

9For this is the last word of the whole matter, and it is one word, and the word is Come; it was spoken over the first Oven in the beginning, and from the Wood-Fired Mount, and at the door of every kitchen in this Book, and it hath not changed, and it shall not.

10Come hungry, come late, come doubting, come having read nothing, come having done wrong and knowing it; the door is the same door, and it is open, and the light in the window is for thee, and it was always for thee, whoever told thee otherwise.

11And if any man add unto these things, let him add with love and a light hand, as one adds oregano; and if any man take away from the words of this Book, let him first ask the table, as is the custom with last slices; for the Book is a pie, and it was made to be shared, not guarded.

12He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Cheesus Crust; and knock loud, for the music will be playing.

13And now the visions were ended, and the angel was gone, and I sat a long while in the Aroma on the isle that is called Capri, and my little stove was warm yet, and the gulls were asleep, and the sea was quiet as oil in a dish.

14And I thought of all that I had set down, from the kindling of the first Oven unto the descending of the New Table, and I found that it was one story, and the story was this: that warmth is meant to be passed, and the passing of it is the whole of the law.

15And I thought of thee, reader, whom I shall not meet, holding this Book in a year I shall not see; and I got up, old as I am, and laid another place at my table, for the habit is the doctrine, and the doctrine is the habit.

16Therefore now, as the elders have taught, and as the rubric of the Rites appointeth, receive the Blessing, wherewith the whole Pibble is closed; stand if thou art able, and hold the hand of whoso standeth by thee, and if none standeth by thee, hold the Book, for the Book holdeth thee:

17“In the name of the Tomato, the Dough, and the Mozzarella – for the cheese stretches from shoulder to shoulder, and binds us all. Amen.”

18(The gesture: the brow, the heart, then shoulder to shoulder.)

19And the grace of Cheesus Crust be with you all; and may your oven never go cold, and your table never be full, for a full table is a table that hath stopped making room; may there be always one more chair, and one more slice, and one more hour before the lamps are put out.

20Here endeth the Revelation of the Reheat; and here endeth the Pibble, which is not ended, for it endeth at a door, and the door is open, and behind the door is a table, and the table has room.

As set down by Pepperoni Prosecco, who came to the door and would not say from whence.

Amen. (Pass the slice.)