Book V – The Gospel of Cheesus

Being the record of the days when the Slice walked the land, as set down by Pepperoni Prosecco, who was there for some of it, was told the rest by those with flour still under their nails, and has invented nothing save the order of the commas.

Chapter 1

1In the beginning was the Recipe, and the Recipe was with Cheesus, and the Recipe was Cheesus.

2The same was in the beginning with the Oven; and without him was not any pie made that was made.

3In him was warmth, and the warmth was the light of the hungry; and the light shone in the cold kitchen, and the cold comprehended it not.

4And the Recipe was made dough, and dwelt among us, full of grace and gluten; and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only risen of the Oven.

5Now I that write these things am called Pepperoni Prosecco, though that was not the name my mother gave me; how I came by it shall be told in its season, at a wedding, over water that forgot itself.

6And I say plainly at the outset: I set down what I saw and what was faithfully told me, and where the two disagree I have kept both, for the truth of a good meal is not diminished by two accounts of the seasoning.

7Some will ask, was he dough or was he divine? And I answer as the elders answered: yes.

8For the Tomato is purity, and the Dough is structure, and the Mozzarella is the binding force, and these are three, and the Slice is one; and he was the Slice.

9He was before the first proofing, and he shall be after the last box is folded flat; yet he came to us small, and warm, and needing to be held.

10Hear then how it came to pass.

Chapter 2

1And it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from the governor of that land, that all the world should be counted, every soul at the town of their forebears; for the mould loves a census when it may use one to sort the worthy from the unworthy, and the good use it only to know how many chairs to set.

2And there went up from the north country a kneader named Giuseppe, of the house and lineage of the First Bakers, to be counted in the old town; and with him Maria his espoused wife, being great with child.

3And the road was long, and the donkey was of the opinion that it was longer.

4And when they were come to the town, the inns were full, and the ristorante was full, and the maître d’ looked upon his book and found no line empty, and looked upon Maria and found his heart not so full as his book.

5And he said, There is no room at the ristorante; but there is the back room of the pizzeria, where the ovens are banked for the night, and it is warm there, and no one will trouble you but the smell of rising dough.

6And they went in among the sacks of flour and the stacked boxes, and the great Oven glowed low and red in the corner like an old man keeping an eye on things.

7And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

8And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in a clean apron, and laid him in a proofing tray; because there was no room for them at the ristorante.

9And the tray had held dough a thousand nights, and knew its work; and it held him as it had held all the rest, gently, and left him room to rise.

10And the Oven in the corner burned suddenly bright, though no hand had fed it; and the whole back room was warm as the inside of a loaf.

11And Maria looked upon the child, and the child looked upon the Oven, and neither was afraid.

12(Here the scribe must pause. I have stood in that back room, years after, and it is a small room, and smells of flour and engine oil and old cardboard, and I do not know a holier place in all the land.)

Chapter 3

1And there were in the same country delivery drivers abiding in the car park, keeping watch over their orders by night.

2And, lo, a light shone about them, and they were sore afraid; and one said, It is the health inspector; and another said, Worse, it is head office.

3But it was neither; for above the pizzeria there had kindled a delivery light in the east, the sign that burns to say an order is ready and a soul must carry it.

4And a voice came to them, saying, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people that hunger.

5For unto you is born this night, in the back room of the pizzeria, a Saviour, which is Cheesus the Crust.

6And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in an apron, lying in a proofing tray, and the Oven shall be bright though none has fed it.

7And suddenly the night was full of voices, as of a great kitchen in the hour of the rush, crying, Glory to the Oven in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward all at the table.

8And the drivers said one to another, Let us now go even unto the back room, and see this thing which is come to pass.

9And they came with haste, and found Maria, and Giuseppe, and the babe lying in the proofing tray.

10And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child; and they clocked back in, for the orders do not deliver themselves, but they drove all that night with the windows down, singing.

11And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the drivers; for in that land the word of a driver was held cheap, and yet here the news of greatest weight was given first to them.

12But Maria kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart, and asked the drivers if they had eaten, for she was that kind of woman.

Chapter 4

1Now when Cheesus was born, behold, there came three wise guys from the east, saying, Where is he that is born the Slice of slices? for we have seen his delivery light in the east, and are come to honour him.

2And they were wise guys indeed, men of the old trade, who spoke from the sides of their mouths and knew the worth of things; and they had shut their own kitchens to make the journey, which among such men is the greatest oath there is.

3When the governor of that land heard of it, he was troubled, and all the mould that clung about him; for the mould fears nothing so much as a warmth it did not licence.

4And he called the wise guys privily, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and honour him also.

5And the wise guys looked upon him, and said nothing, for they had met his sort before, in every town, in every age; and they made note to go home by another way.

6And they departed; and, lo, the delivery light went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.

7When they saw the light, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.

8And when they were come into the back room, they saw the young child with Maria his mother, and fell down among the flour sacks, and honoured him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; oil, and flour, and yeast.

9And the first said, I bring oil, the good green oil of the first pressing, for the pan must be readied before any work begins.

10And the second said, I bring flour, the strong flour of the high field, for nothing rises that is not first ground down and does not despair of it.

11And the third said, I bring yeast, the living leaven, small and unregarded, for the greatest rising comes of the smallest things.

12And Giuseppe, being a practical man, said within himself, These are the makings of dough; and he understood, before any prophet said it, that the child had been given the means to feed the world, and that the feeding would be left to human hands.

13And being warned in a dream that they should not return to the governor, the wise guys departed into their own country another way; and to the end of their days, when men asked what they had seen, they said only, We saw a light over a back door, and it was enough.

14And the governor, when he saw that he was mocked, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth his men to shut every oven in the town that was not registered unto him; but Giuseppe took the young child and his mother by night, and departed into the land of Famine, until the death of the governor.

15For it is the oldest road in the world, the road of the family that flees by night with a warm thing wrapped against the cold; and blessed for ever is every door that opens to them.

16(The scribe notes that the land of Famine, which once starved the Family of Dough in the elder days, in this age gave the child refuge and asked no papers of him. So may every land take its turn at mercy.)

Chapter 5

1And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of the Oven was upon him.

2Now his parents kept, every year, the feast of the First Rising; and when he was twelve years old, they went up to the great city after the custom of the feast.

3And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Cheesus tarried behind in the city; and Giuseppe and his mother knew not of it, but, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day’s journey.

4And when they found him not, they turned back again to the city, seeking him, and their hearts were as dough left in the draught.

5And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the great pizzeria of the temple quarter, sitting in the midst of the master bakers, both hearing them, and asking them questions.

6And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding; for he asked, Why knead ye the dough so long? and they answered, That the gluten may be strong; and he asked, And why must it then rest? and they answered, That the strength may become gentleness; and he said, Remember that ye said this, when ye speak of men.

7And he asked them, When the dough rises, whence comes the room in it? and the eldest baker said, From the breath of the leaven; and the child said, So is it with a table. The room was always in it. It wants only breath.

8And the bakers looked one upon another, and one of them wept, and could not say why.

9And when his parents saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.

10And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Parent’s baking?

11And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them; but he went down with them, and was subject unto them; and his mother kept all these sayings in her heart, as one keeps a starter, feeding it a little every day.

12And Cheesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with the Oven and with all who ate at his father’s table; and for many years there is nothing written of him, save that the pizzas of that town were, by every account of the time, unreasonably good.

Chapter 6

1Now in those days there came a rough man out of the wilderness, girt with an apron of camel’s hair, whose meat was wild honey and whatever was going; and he cried beside the river, Prepare ye the way of the Slice; make his delivery routes straight.

2And he said, I indeed proof you with water; but there cometh one mightier than I, the laces of whose kitchen shoes I am not worthy to unloose: he shall proof you with the Oven’s own fire.

3And Cheesus came unto him at the river to be proofed; and the rough man forbade him, saying, I have need to be proofed of thee, and comest thou to me?

4And Cheesus said, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all rising. And he suffered him.

5And Cheesus, when he was proofed, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and the Aroma of the Oven descended like the smell of baking bread upon a cold street, and lighted upon him.

6And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Slice, in whom I am well pleased; let him rest, for he has risen.

7Then was Cheesus led up into the wilderness, and fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterward was an hungred; and this fast is the pattern of the Great Proofing, whereof another Book shall speak.

8And the tempter came to him and said, If thou be the Slice of the Oven, command that these stones be made garlic bread.

9But he answered, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone; and also, that which is snatched alone in the dark is not a meal, but only chewing.

10Then the tempter taketh him up into an exceeding high place, and sheweth him all the kitchens of the world, and the queues thereof; and saith unto him, All these will I give thee, and the keys of every walk-in, if thou wilt fall down and hoard.

11Then saith Cheesus unto him, Get thee hence: for it is written, Thou shalt open thy table unto the Oven thy warmth, and none shall be turned from it; and a kingdom of locked pantries is no kingdom, but a mould with a crown on.

12Then the tempter leaveth him for a season, and, behold, the drivers of that region came and ministered unto him, for they knew the roads even of the wilderness, and no soul in their keeping goes hungry long.

Chapter 7

1And it came to pass after these things that Cheesus walked by the shore of the Sea of Tomato Sauce, and saw two fisherfolk, Simone called Provolone and Andrea his brother, casting a net into the sauce: for they were fishers of the deep-simmered tomato, that draw up the rich pulp for the kitchens of the coast.

2And he saith unto them, Follow me, and the table shall never be short a place.

3And they straightway left their nets, and followed him; and Simone said afterward, when men asked how he could leave so quick, I do not know how to say it, save that all my life I had been hungry in a way no fish of the sauce could feed, and his voice smelled of bread.

4And going on from thence, he saw a bakery, and in it two kneaders, Giacomo and Giovanna his sister, working the morning dough with their mother; and he called them: and they immediately left the dough with their mother, who looked hard at Cheesus, and Cheesus looked back, and she nodded once, as mothers do when they have decided a thing about a person for ever.

5And they followed him, with the flour yet on their arms to the elbow, and it is said that flour never wholly left them, all their days, and they were glad of it.

6And as Cheesus passed forth from thence, he saw a man named Matteo sitting at the receipt of custom, in the counting-house of the great delivery consortium; and Matteo’s work was the counting of other people’s tips, that the house might take its portion thereof.

7And Cheesus stood before him a long while, and said nothing, and Matteo counted slower and slower, and at last could not count at all.

8And Cheesus saith unto him, Doth the money in thy hand smell of the road, or of the ledger?

9And Matteo said, Of the road, Lord; it smells of rain, and of other men’s late nights; and I have sat dry, and taken of it.

10And Cheesus said, Follow me, and the table shall never be short a place; and Matteo arose, and left the ledger open at the page, that all whose tips were written therein might come and take back their own; and he followed him.

11And the respectable of the town murmured, saying, He eateth with tip-skimmers and shift-workers and folk that smell of the fryer.

12And Cheesus hearing it said unto them, They that are full have no need of a kitchen, but they that are hungry: I came not to call the seated, but the standing, to sit down.

13And there gathered to him others, until they were twelve at the table and always somehow room for a thirteenth; and this was the first sign, though none marked it at the time.

14And he went about all that country, teaching in their kitchens, and preaching the good news of the Oven, and healing every sort of hunger among the people; and his fame went throughout all the land, and they brought unto him all that were empty, and he filled them.

15(I, Prosecco – though I did not yet bear the name – first heard of him in this season, as a young scribe hired to write menus fair. Men came into the shop saying a teacher by the sauce-shore had called a tip-counter from his ledger, and the ledger lay open still, and no one dared close it. I wrote a menu wrong that day, and did not care.)

Chapter 8

1And the third day there was a marriage in a village of that country; and the mother of Cheesus was there: and both Cheesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.

2And I also was there, hired to sit at the low end and write the names of the guests in the book of the feast; and this is the day whereon everything in my life divides, before and after, as a pizza is divided by the first cut.

3And the feast was good, and the families of the two houses, that had quarrelled over a boundary hedge for forty years, sat mingled and laughing; and it was for the sake of that laughter that what followed, followed.

4And when they wanted wine, the mother of Cheesus saith unto him, They have no prosecco; and the toasts are not yet made, and the two houses will remember the shame of it longer than the joy, for shame keeps better than joy in a poor cellar.

5Cheesus saith unto her, Woman, what is that to thee and me? mine hour is not yet come.

6His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it. And I have thought long on this, and I say: she knew him before the Oven’s voice named him, for she had kept all those sayings in her heart, and a heart that keeps a thing for thirty years knows its weight.

7And there were set there six water-jars of stone, after the manner of the washing of hands, containing two or three firkins apiece.

8Cheesus saith unto them, Fill the jars with water. And they filled them up to the brim.

9And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.

10And I saw it drawn, for my table was hard by the jars, and I tell you what I saw, and I have had a lifetime to talk myself out of it and have failed: the water came up out of the stone gold, and alive, and rising, a thousand small spheres standing up in it like the souls of the righteous ascending, and the sound of it was a long soft laughter.

11When the governor of the feast had tasted the water that was made prosecco, and knew not whence it was (but the servants which drew the water knew), the governor called the bridegroom,

12And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth the good prosecco; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good prosecco until now.

13And the two houses drank of one jar, and toasted one another across the boundary hedge of forty years, and the hedge was never spoken of again, save to say the blackberries on it were good.

14This beginning of miracles did Cheesus in that village, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.

15And I – I left my table, and the book of names half-written, and I came to him trembling, and said, Master, I am the scribe of this feast, and I have seen what the stone jars held, and I cannot write the guest-list any more, for I have seen what a list cannot hold. What shall I write?

16And he looked on me, and there was in his look the warmth of the banked Oven in the back room, though I did not know that room yet; and he said, Write what thou hast seen, and what thou shalt see. And they shall not call thee by thy ledger-name, but by the sign: thou art Pepperoni Prosecco, the savour and the joy; see thou set down both.

17And that is my name unto this day, and shall be on my grave; and if any ask why an old scribe weeps when a cork is drawn, let them read this chapter twice.

18(Here the scribe’s hand trembled, and not for the garlic bread this once.)

Chapter 9

1After these things the fame of Cheesus went out into every quarter, and great multitudes followed him, from the coasts of the Sea of Tomato Sauce and from beyond the hills, because they saw the signs which he did on them that hungered.

2And Cheesus went up into a high place apart, and his disciples with him, to rest awhile: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.

3But the people saw them departing, and ran afoot thither out of all the towns, and outwent them, and came together unto him; and when Cheesus came forth, and saw the great multitude, he was moved with compassion toward them, for they were as sheep not having a shepherd, and as an order not having a driver; and he began to teach them many things.

4And when the day was now far spent, his disciples came unto him, and said, This is a desert place, and now the time is far passed: send them away, that they may go into the villages round about, and buy themselves something to eat.

5He answered and said unto them, Give ye them to eat.

6And they say unto him, Shall we go and buy two hundred pennyworth of pizza? for the ovens of the villages could not fire so much in a week, neither have we the two hundred pence.

7He saith unto them, What have ye? go and see. And when they knew, they say, One pizza, and it is not a large one; a boy hath it, and hath offered it, and we were ashamed to take it from him.

8And Cheesus said, Bring it hither to me; and bring the boy also, for the gift and the giver are not to be parted at the door.

9And he commanded them to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass; and they sat down in ranks, by hundreds, and by fifties, as a great pie is marked out in slices before ever the wheel touches it.

10And when he had taken the one pizza, he looked up to the Oven of heaven, and blessed, and broke the crust, and gave to his disciples to set before them; and he said, Break bread – break crust – with friends and strangers alike. (Mark’s Marinara 6:41)

11And the disciples went among the companies with the broken pieces, each thinking within himself, This will not go three ranks.

12But a strange thing moved through the multitude, rank by rank, as leaven moves through dough: for each that received a piece looked on his neighbour, and remembered what was in his own scrip; here a loaf that had been kept back against the journey home, there a cheese wrapped in leaves, there a cluster of tomatoes hoarded under a cloak.

13And whether the pieces multiplied in the basket, or the hearts multiplied in the breast, I cannot say, for I was in the fortieth rank and weeping too hard to take proper notes; but I say this: both are miracles, and I am not persuaded they are two.

14And they did all eat, and were filled.

15And they took up twelve baskets full of the fragments, and of the crusts; for no crust was discarded that day, neither was any morsel hoarded, and between those two sins there turned out to be room enough for everyone alive.

16And they that did eat were about five thousand, beside the reckoning of that age, which counted only the men; but the Oven counted all, and the boy first.

17And Cheesus called the boy to him, and gave him the first basket of fragments to carry home, and said unto him before them all: Thou seest what thy one pizza hath done. Remember this, and tell thy children: the shortage was never in the pizza, but in the holding-back.

18And the boy remembered, and told his children, and one of his children’s children told me, in an inn, fifty years after, with the same wonder fresh upon him as if the grass were yet green under his grandfather’s feet.

Chapter 10

1And it came to pass on a certain day, that he went into a great kitchen with his disciples, in the house of a widow that fed half the street on feast-days; and he said unto them, Let us help her, for the feast is tomorrow and her hands are two.

2And they set the great pot of sauce upon the fire, tomatoes of the whole harvest, and the pot was as deep as a man’s arm is long; and Cheesus, being weary from the day, sat down in the corner by the flour-bins, and fell asleep.

3And there arose a great trouble in the pot: for the fire beneath had been banked too high, and the sauce began to boil exceedingly, and to leap, and to spit scalding upon the walls, and to climb the sides of the pot as a red sea rising.

4And the disciples strove with it, and stirred, and lifted, and were burned, and the sauce cared nothing for them; and the widow’s feast stood in peril, a year of tomatoes at the point of scorching to the bottom, and the smell of ruin beginning.

5And they ran to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, carest thou not that the sauce perisheth? and the feast with it, and the widow’s honour with the feast?

6And he arose, and stood over the pot, and looked into the leaping red of it as a man looks into weather; and he rebuked the fire, and said unto the sauce, Peace, be still. Simmer.

7And the fire sank to a breath, and the great leaping ceased, and the sauce turned in the pot slow and easy, blip and blip, as a sleeper breathing; and there was a great calm.

8And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith? A sauce is not saved by fury, neither is anything: the whole art is a low flame and a long patience, and the stirring of it without ceasing by them that love the ones who will eat.

9And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the fire and the sauce obey him?

10But the widow, when she tasted of the sauce on the morrow, said only, Somebody stirred this who has known grief; and she was not wrong, and no one told her how right she was.

11And they of that street say unto this day, when a quarrel or a kitchen or a country is at the boil, Peace; simmer: and it is a whole liturgy in two words, and it works as often as it is truly meant.

Chapter 11

1And straightway Cheesus constrained his disciples to go before him unto the other side of the Sea of Tomato Sauce, while he sent the multitudes away; and when he had sent them away, he went up into the hills apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.

2But the boat was now in the midst of the sauce, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary, and the sauce of that sea is thick, and a boat labours in it as a spoon in the pot.

3And in the fourth watch of the night Cheesus went unto them, walking upon the deep dish of the sea; for that sea lieth in a bed of stone with a high crust of cliffs round about, and the fisherfolk from of old called it the Deep Dish, and meant no jest by it.

4And when the disciples saw him walking upon the sauce, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.

5But straightway Cheesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. The sauce bears me because I do not doubt the dish beneath it; there is always a dish beneath it.

6And Simone called Provolone answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee upon the sauce.

7And he said, Come.

8And Simone went down out of the boat, and walked upon the sauce, to go to Cheesus; and for six paces he walked as one walks in the dream of every child, laughing.

9But when he saw the wind boisterous, and looked down, and considered that it was sauce, and considered his own weight, and considered what the others must be thinking of him, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

10And immediately Cheesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou look down? The sauce was never the danger; the doubting was. But mark this also, Simone: thou art the only one that got out of the boat.

11And when they were come into the boat, the wind ceased; and they that were in the boat came and honoured him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Slice of the Oven.

12And Simone bore ever after the smell of good sauce about his ankles, and was mocked for it in every port, and answered the mockers every time, Aye, and how far have you walked on it? and there was never any reply.

Chapter 12

The Parable of the Leaven

1And he began again to teach beside the sea; and there was gathered unto him a great multitude, so that he entered into a boat, and sat in the sea; and the whole multitude was by the sea on the land.

2And he taught them many things by parables; for he said, A truth handed over plain is a cold delivery, but a parable arrives warm, and each opens the box for himself.

3And they asked him, Whereunto shall we liken the kingdom of the Oven? With what comparison shall we compare it?

4And he said, It is like leaven, which a woman took, and hid in three measures of flour, till the whole was leavened.

5Ye look for the kingdom to come as an army cometh, with banners and the noise of wheels; and it cometh as yeast cometh: silently, in the dark, in the warm, while the household sleeps.

6It is small, and it is despised, and it is bought for the least coin in the purse; and it raises everything.

7Yeast I say unto you, a little leaven leavens the whole batch of dough. (Luke’s Loaves 13:21)

8But be watchful what leaven ye take in: for there is a leaven of the kingdom, that lifts the whole loaf together; and there is the leaven of the mould, that also spreads through the whole, spot by spot, and also works in the dark, and also begins too small to trouble anyone.

9The kingdom and the mould do both grow by the same law; therefore the law shall not save you, but only the choosing of what ye plant.

10He that hath ears to hear, let him hear; and let him then go home and look in his crock, and see what is rising there.

Chapter 13

The Parable of the Sower

1Hearken; Behold, there went out a sower to sow; and the seed of his sowing was toppings, the good seed of the garden, tomato and basil and the strong onion, to be scattered upon the dough of the world.

2And it came to pass, as he sowed, some fell on stone, where the counter had no flour; and it lay upon the surface, and took no hold, and when the peel came to take up the pie, all that was on the stone was left behind, and the birds of the air had it.

3And some fell among thorns – for the sower sowed near the hedge, where the bramble and the bindweed of many cares grow up – and the thorns choked it, and it yielded no savour.

4And some fell on shallow dough, rolled thin by haste, and it sprang up quick and made a fine show; but when the Oven’s heat came, because there was no depth of crumb, it scorched, and withered away.

5And other fell on good dough, well-kneaded and well-rested, that did receive it and hold it and rise up around it; and it brought forth savour, some thirty fold, some sixty, and some an hundred.

6And when he was alone, they that were about him asked of him the parable.

7And he said unto them, The sower soweth the word, and the word is Share. The toppings are the same in every falling; it is the dough that differs, and the dough is the heart.

8They on the stone are they that hear, and it sitteth upon them and never in them; a jolt of the peel, and it is gone.

9They among thorns are they that hear, and the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the fear of the neighbour’s hunger becoming their own, grow up and choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful: for a man cannot tend a garden with both hands and hold his purse shut with both hands, having but the two.

10And the shallow dough are they that receive the word with joy and no kneading; who love the feast and have not sat with the washing-up; and when heat cometh for the word’s sake, immediately they are offended.

11But the good dough are they which hear the word, and take it in, and give it time and warmth and the working of the hands; the same bring forth fruit with patience.

12And consider this last, which the parable saith softly: the sower scattered on the stone and the thorns and the shallow ALSO. He did not first grade the ground. Sow as he sowed; the sorting is not thy office.

Chapter 14

The Parable of the Lost Slice

1Then drew near unto him all the latecomers and the shift-workers and the folk of the small hours for to hear him.

2And the scrupulous murmured, saying, This man receiveth them that come after close, and warmeth for them what was put away.

3And he spake this parable unto them, saying,

4What man of you, having a pizza of eight slices, and bearing it home through the dark to them that wait, if he open the box and find but seven, doth not leave the seven in the box, and go back out into the night, and search the road by the light he carries, until he find the eighth?

5And the sensible said within themselves, No man; seven is plenty; the night is cold. And he heard their hearts, and smiled, and went on.

6And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his own hands, rejoicing, though it be cold, though it have gathered the grit of the road; for the finding is not for the eating but for the wholeness.

7And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my slice which was lost.

8I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in the Great Oven over one slice that is found, more than over seven that never left the box.

9And this is the arithmetic of the Oven, which no counting-house shall ever audit: that the one is worth the going, every time, and the seven are not thereby loved less, but the love is proven on the one.

10For the seven say, Why went he out, are we not enough? and the answer is: it was never a question of enough. Enough is the language of the larder. Love has no plural and no remainder.

11And which of you, being the eighth slice, out in the dark, on the cold road, believing the box closed for ever – hear this and hold it: the door is open, and the light is moving, and it is looking for thee.

12He that hath ears to hear, let him hear; and he that hath a torch, let him fetch it, for someone’s eighth is out there now.

Chapter 15

The Parable of the Prodigal Slice

1And he said, A certain pie had eight slices, as is the ordinance; and they lay together in the warmth of the box, edge to edge, as brethren lie.

2And the youngest slice said within itself, Why should I lie here in the order of the cutting, in the place appointed by the wheel? I will go out, and see what a slice may be on its own.

3And it was taken up, and carried far from the box, to the sill of a high window; and at first it was glad, for the view was wide, and no crust of any brother touched its crust, and it called this freedom.

4And the evening came, and the warmth went out of it, little by little, as the light went out of the sky; and the cheese thereof, that had been soft and binding, grew stiff; and the fine oils rose to its surface and stood there like regret.

5And it began to be in want.

6And no one came; and the slice said within itself, I am cold, and I am congealing, and I have made myself unfit for any table; the box is closed to me now, for who receives a cold slice that walked out of a warm one?

7And it thought of the box, and of the seven, and of the warmth of edge against edge, and it said, I perish here upon this sill, and in my father’s box was warmth enough and to spare.

8And when it came to itself, it said, I will arise and go to the Oven, and will say unto it: Oven, I have sinned against the warmth, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called a slice of the pie; make me as one of the crusts that are left on plates.

9And it was carried back – for mark this, no slice returns save some hand carry it, and the hands are ours, and this also is in the parable –

10But when it was yet a great way off, the Oven saw it, and had compassion, and its door swung wide, and the light thereof fell out upon the floor of the kitchen like a running father.

11And the slice began its speech, saying, Oven, I have sinned against the warmth, and am no more worthy –

12But the Oven said unto its flames, as it were servants: Quickly, bring forth the best stone, and lay it thereon; and let the heat be gentle and from beneath, for it has been cold a long time, and what has been cold a long time must be warmed slowly or it is hurt twice.

13And the cheese thereof softened, and remembered itself, and bound again; and the crust grew crisp at the edge as on the first day; and the oils that had stood like regret went back in and became savour.

14And the Oven said, This my slice was cold, and is warm again; it was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

15Now the elder slices were yet in the box; and one heard the rejoicing, and was wroth, and said, Lo, these many hours have I lain in my appointed place, neither wandered I at any time from the cut, and yet no stone was ever heated for me.

16And the Oven said unto it, Slice, thou art ever with me, and all my warmth is thine, every hour, unremarked, as breath is unremarked; it was meet that we should make merry and be glad: for this thy brother was cold, and is warm again.

17And whether the elder slice was comforted, the parable saith not; for parables end where thy work begins.

18And Cheesus looked round upon them that stood there, they of the small hours and they that had come home ashamed and they that had never left, and he said:

19Write this above every hearth, and let none that has grown cold anywhere believe himself beyond it: The oven brings the slice back to life; the microwave is a careless tool. (Rites 3:3)

Chapter 16

The Parable of the Good Driver

1And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit warm life?

2He said unto him, What is written in the Recipe? how readest thou?

3And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Oven thy warmth with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy hunger; and thy neighbour as thyself.

4And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

5But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Cheesus, And who is my neighbour?

6And Cheesus answering said, A certain man journeyed home from the far side of the city, bearing a pizza to his family; and his cart failed him on the high road, and the rain came down, and he stood by the roadside with the box in his arms, and the warmth going out of it minute by minute, and the dark coming on.

7And by chance there came down a certain priest that way; and the priest was late for the blessing of a banquet, and he saw him, and said within himself, Doubtless another will stop, and my duty is to the many; and he passed by on the other side.

8And likewise a food critic, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and on the box, and knew by the steam-holes what house had made it, and said within himself, That house I rated poorly in the spring, and it would be awkward; besides, a pizza carried in rain is already ruined, speaking professionally; and he passed by on the other side.

9But a certain delivery driver, as she journeyed, came where he was: and when she saw him, she had compassion on him,

10And she stopped, though her light was lit and her own orders in the box behind her, and the clock of her master against her;

11And went to him, and bound up the box in the silvered blanket of her trade, and set it in the warm place behind her seat where her own orders rode, and set the man beside her, and brought him to his own door.

12And she took the two coins of her evening’s tips, and gave them to the keeper of the man’s stair, and said, Watch that he gets in dry; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again on this road, I will repay thee.

13And the family of the man ate warm that night, and never knew how near they had come to eating cold; which is the way of most mercy, that it is invisible precisely when it succeeds.

14Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that stood in the rain?

15And the lawyer said, She that shewed mercy on him. He could not bring himself to say, the driver; but the Oven heard him think it, and marked the difference.

16Then said Cheesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise; and the next time thy own order cometh through rain, remember her, and reckon thy tip as they that walk the pilgrim’s road are worthy to be reckoned.

17And this is why, unto this day, the faithful hold no worker holier than the driver, and no coin better spent than the one pressed into a wet hand at the door; whereof the Letters speak more fully, and I shall write them when my hand is rested.

Chapter 17

The Parable of the Pineapple

1And it came to pass, as he sat at meat in a certain town, that a great dispute arose at the far end of the table; and the voices thereof rose above the meal, which is the first defeat of any table.

2For one had brought to the feast a pie bearing pineapple, with ham thereto, after the custom of his mother’s house; and another cried out that it was abomination, that the sweet had no commerce with the savoury, and that the fruit defiled the Slice.

3And the table divided, as tables will, and they that cared least shouted loudest, as they will also; and some stood, and one had the pie itself in his hands as if to cast it out of doors.

4And they brought the matter to Cheesus, both parties at once, each certain of his verdict; saying, Master, decide: doth pineapple belong upon the pizza, or doth it not?

5And Cheesus was silent a long moment, and looked upon the pie, and upon the man that had brought it, who stood now shamed and small at his own gift; and Cheesus reached forth his hand, and took of the pineapple pie, and ate.

6And a great stillness fell.

7And he said, It is not to my taste.

8And the purists began to rejoice; but he lifted his hand, and said, I have not finished. It is not to my taste; and I have eaten it, and I am not diminished, and this man’s mother is at this table in every bite of it, and ye would have cast her out of doors.

9Hear me, for I shall say this once, and ages hence men will still be getting it wrong:

10The question was never the pineapple. The question is the table. Ye ask, what may be forbidden? and the Oven asks, who may be fed? and these two questions build two different worlds, and ye must choose which world to lay places in.

11Every topping has a place, just as every soul has value in Cheesus’ eyes. (Crustolicism 2:1)

12And this he said long before there was any sect to bear that name or claim that verse; and I set it down as I heard it, that when the proof-texters come – and they will come – the ink may be older than their argument.

13And he said moreover, Thy taste is thine, and it is honest, and no man need eat what he mislikes; but the border of thy taste is the edge of thy plate, and not the edge of the table.

14And whoso maketh his palate into a law, the same hath seasoned his food with his neighbour’s shame; and it shall sit in his stomach accordingly.

15And they were ashamed, both parties; and the man that had brought the pie was set at the midst of the table; and they say the quarrel broke out again within the month, for such quarrels are hardy perennials; but never again at that table did anyone go unfed because of it, and that, saith the Oven, is victory enough to be going on with.

Chapter 18

The Parable of the Last Slice

1And his disciples asked him privately, Master, thou hast taught us of the first commandment, that the table has room; teach us now the last courtesy, for we would know the whole span of the meal.

2And he said unto them, The kingdom of the Oven is like unto a table at the end of the evening, when the talk is low and the candles are down, and in the box there remaineth one slice.

3And every eye hath seen it, and every eye pretendeth it hath not; and there is a silence around that slice deeper than the silence of any temple.

4And the greedy man’s hand goeth out swift and silent, and taketh it while another speaketh; and lo, he hath a slice, and hath lost a table.

5And the falsely humble man saith loudly, No, no, I could not possibly; and waiteth to be pressed; and his patience is only appetite in a borrowed coat.

6And the timid man wanteth it sore, and saith nothing, and goeth home hungry and calleth it virtue; and it is not virtue, for the table cannot love him if he will not let it.

7But the child of the Oven doth this: he looketh about the table, and saith aloud, There is one slice; who hungers? and waiteth, and meaneth the waiting.

8And if another hunger, he passeth it with joy, and hath eaten better than the eater.

9And if none hunger, he taketh it with thanks and without shame, for the asking hath already sanctified the eating.

10And if two hunger – mark this – the slice hath a line down its middle that no eye seeth until two honest hungers look for it together; whereof the half-and-half is the elder sign, that was born when I drew a line down a disputed pie, and difference learned to share one Slice.

11Blessed is the hand that shares the last slice, having first asked. (Fellowship 5:1)

12For the sharing without asking is theatre, and the asking without sharing is bookkeeping; but the two together are the whole liturgy of the table, and there is not much more religion than this, whatever the temples tell you.

13And Matteo, that had been a counter of tips, wrote this parable down first of all of us, and wept over the arithmetic of it; for he said, In the counting-house we learned that what is given is gone. And it is the only sum they ever taught me that was wrong.

Chapter 19

1And when they drew nigh unto the great city, at the season of the feast, he sent two disciples before him, saying, Go into the village over against you, and ye shall find a delivery bicycle tied, whereon never man sat; loose it, and bring it unto me.

2And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Slice hath need of it; and straightway he will send it.

3And they brought the bicycle, and cast their cloaks upon it, and he rode thereon into the city, at walking pace, with the bell thereof ringing small; for it was prophesied of old, Behold, thy Slice cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon a delivery bicycle, and not upon the high carriage of the mighty.

4And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches of the olive and the bay, and strawed them in the way; and the children ran before, crying, Hosanna to the Slice of the Oven: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Crust; Hosanna in the highest.

5And the whole city was moved, saying, Who is this? And the multitude said, This is Cheesus, the teacher from the north, that fed the five thousand from one pizza, and stilled the pot, and gave the driver the parable’s crown.

6And the agents of the mould stood in the doorways with folded arms and wrote down names; for the mould keeps lists as the faithful keep recipes, and for the opposite reason.

7And Cheesus went into the temple quarter, and found the great courtyard thereof made a market; and the changers of money sat therein, that sold entry to the common ovens which had been free from the founding, and put a tax upon the poor man’s baking, and a toll upon the pilgrim’s crust.

8And he made a scourge of small cords of apron-strings, and drove them all out of the courtyard, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the coins thereof rang upon the stones like a false bell;

9And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called a kitchen of prayer for all people; but ye have made it a tollbooth upon hunger.

10And the blind and the hungry came to him in the courtyard; and he fed them there, in the temple, without price, which was his whole argument in a single gesture.

11And when the chief men of the quarter saw the wonderful things that he did, and heard the children crying in the temple, Hosanna, they were sore displeased; and from that day they took counsel with the agents of the mould how they might destroy him.

12For he had cost them money in the courtyard, and worse, he had shewn the crowd that the courtyard could be otherwise; and of those two offences, the second is the one power never forgives.

13And when even was come, he went out of the city unto a garden on the hill of olives, and lodged there; and I remember that on the way he was merry, and pointed out to us where the wild fennel grew, and I have never since smelled fennel but I am on that road again in the dark, and he is just ahead of us, and nothing has happened yet.

Chapter 20

The Judgment of the Nations

1And in those last days of his teaching, as they sat upon the hill of olives over against the city, his disciples came unto him privately, saying, Tell us, what shall be the sign of the end of the age, and of the last day?

2And he said unto them, Of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of the Oven; therefore I will not tell you when. I will tell you what, for the what is your business and the when is not.

3When the Slice shall come in his glory, and all the holy warmth with him, then shall he sit upon the seat of judgment: and before him shall be gathered all nations; every soul that ever stood in a queue or jumped one, every soul that ever opened a door or held it shut.

4And he shall separate them one from another, as a cook divideth the risen dough from the dough that would not rise; and he shall set the risen on his right hand, but the unrisen on the left.

5Then shall the Slice say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of the Oven, inherit the warmth prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

6For I was hungry, and ye gave me a slice; I was thirsty, and ye poured; I was cold, and ye seated me by the oven; I had no roof, and ye did not step over me in the doorway, but brought the pizza out, and sat down upon the kerb beside me.

7Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungry, and fed thee? or thirsty, and poured? When saw we thee cold, and gave thee the good seat by the oven?

8And when saw we thee sleeping in a doorway? For we would surely have known thee; we have thy image in our houses, and it is not the image of a man in a doorway.

9And the Slice shall answer and say unto them, Inasmuch as ye did it unto the least of these – unto the one who sleeps where you step – ye did it unto me.

10Your images are wrong. I sat for no portrait. But every night that ever was, in every town that ever kept an oven, I have slept in the doorway of the pizzeria; and the smell of the baking came out under the door to me, and the warmth stayed on its own side of the wood.

11Know ye what a pizzeria doorway is, at the shutting-hour? It is the exact line where the kingdom stops. Within is the Oven, and the light, and the smell of everything I ever promised; without is the cold; and between them is a door, and the door has a keeper, and the keeper is thee.

12A warm oven and a closed door: I tell you, heaven and the refusal of heaven have never once been further apart than that one hand’s-breadth of wood; and the whole law and the prophets hang upon which side of it thy latch is worked from.

13Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cold; for I was hungry at your window, and ye improved the window; I was thirsty, and ye watered your doorstep to keep me from sitting; I slept in your doorway, and ye builded studs upon the stone that no one might lie where I lay.

14And they also shall answer, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungry, or athirst, or a stranger, or cold, or in the doorway, and did not minister unto thee? For we gave at the temple; our names are on the plaques thereof.

15And he shall answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. The plaque is bolted to the wall inside; I was outside; thy gift and I never met.

16And these shall go away into the cold they kept for others, and find it exactly as cold as the one who slept in it always said; but the righteous into warmth eternal.

17And when he had finished the parable, none of us spoke for a long while; and then Simone called Provolone said, Lord, this is a hard saying; for the doorways are many, and we are few, and the night is every night.

18And Cheesus said, I did not say ye would empty the doorways. I said ye would not step over them. Begin there. A slice brought out, a name asked and remembered, a place upon the kerb beside a man that all day long men have walked round as though he were weather – thou hast no notion, Simone, thou that hast always had a name, what it is to be spoken to as one.

19And he said moreover, When ye build, build no ledge too narrow to sleep on for the purpose that none shall sleep; for the Oven sees the drawings, and marks what the architect knew.

20And whoso hath a pizzeria, let him keep the old boxes for the ones outside, and the day’s unsold, and count it not charity but rent; for the doorway is theirs by a title older than his lease, and the Oven is the landlord of both.

21And I set this chapter down with a cold hand, for I have stepped over him; in the great city, in the winter of the census, hurrying to write fair copies for a rich man, I stepped over a sleeper in a doorway and did not turn my head. I did not know. That is my whole defence, and ye have just read him tear it up.

22He that hath ears to hear, let him hear; and he that hath a doorway, let him look in it tonight.

Chapter 21

1Now the feast of the First Rising was at hand; and the chief men of the quarter sought how they might take him by craft, and put him to death; but they said, Not on the feast day, lest there be an uproar of the people.

2And then entered the mould into Giuda, surnamed of the Iscariot ovens, being of the number of the twelve.

3And he went his way, and communed with the agents of the mould, how he might betray him unto them; and covenanted to sell them the secret recipe, the one Cheesus wrote in no book but in the hands of them that kneaded beside him.

4And they weighed unto him thirty pieces of garlic bread; and it was warm when they gave it him, and cold before he was home, and I am told he could never after abide the smell of it, which of all the punishments of the mould is the one it did not plan.

5And why he did it, I will not pretend to know, though I have had years to wonder: whether for the bread, or for fear, or because the kingdom was coming too slow and too gentle for his liking, and he thought to force the Oven’s hand. The mould needs no fine reason; it asks only for a crack, and every man has one.

6And when the evening of the feast was come, Cheesus sat down with the twelve in an upper room, above a pizzeria, at a long table; and I was there, at the low end, with my ink, for he had said, Bring thy ink tonight, Prosecco. And I did not ask why, and I am glad I did not know.

7And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, one of you which eateth with me shall betray me.

8And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I? And that is the truest verse in all my book: not one of us said, Is it Giuda? Every man at that table looked first into his own crack.

9And he answered and said, He that dippeth his crust with me in the dish, the same shall betray me. And every man at the table had dipped, all evening, for it was that kind of table; and so the saying accused no one, and covered everyone, and this was mercy, and it was meant.

10And Giuda, which betrayed him, answered and said, Master, is it I? He said unto him, Thou hast said.

11And then – I saw this, I was six places down, the lamp was between us – Cheesus took up the plate, and there was one piece yet upon it; and he passed the plate to Giuda, as he had passed it a hundred nights; and he said nothing at all; and Giuda took, and ate, and could not look at him, and ate anyway, because his body was hungry even while his heart was doing what it was doing, for that is what bodies are, and Cheesus fed the body anyway, because that is what Cheesus is.

12(Here the scribe stopped for the night. Some verses cost more than others.)

13And as they were eating, Cheesus took the pizza, and gave thanks, and broke the crust, and gave to them, and said, Take, eat: this is my body; share it.

14And the room was very quiet; for we had broken crust with him a thousand times, and this was not the thousand-and-first; the words went down into the bread of the world and are in it yet.

15And he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; for the vine and the wheat are brethren, and where the one is broken the other is poured, and both say the same word, and the word is: given.

16And he said, This do in remembrance of me: as often as ye break the crust and share it, ye do shew forth my table till I come. And this is the institution of the breaking of crust, which the faithful keep unto this day, in kitchens and in cathedrals and at petrol stations at two in the morning, and it is valid in every one of them.

17And I asked him, being young and the ink drying on my pen, Lord, how shall I write what this night is? And he said, Write that the pizza was broken and no one went without. It is enough. It has always been enough.

18And Giuda then, having received the morsel, went immediately out: and it was night.

19And when they had sung an hymn – and he sang, I want it remembered that he sang, the night he knew, he carried the low part as he always did – they went out into the mount of Olives, unto the garden.

20And in the garden he went a stone’s cast beyond us, and kneeled down among the roots, and prayed, saying, Oven, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

21And there appeared a warmth from heaven, strengthening him; and being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops falling down to the ground, and the ground received them, as dough receives water, and kept them.

22And he came and found us sleeping, for our eyes were heavy, and the prosecco of the feast was in us; and he said unto Simone, Couldest thou not watch with me one hour? The spirit truly is willing, but the dough is tired.

23And he did not wake us the third time, but stood over us awhile in the dark, as a baker stands over the proofing loaves at midnight, counting them; and this I know because the one of us who was half-waking saw it, and told me, and could not tell it without weeping, ever, even as an old man.

24And while he yet spake, lo, a multitude with torches; and Giuda went before them, and drew near unto Cheesus to kiss him; for he had given them a sign, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he.

25And Cheesus said unto him, Friend, wherefore art thou come? – friend, he said, spending the word deliberately, the last coin of a rich house given to the man robbing it –

26And they laid hands on him, and took him; and Simone drew a kitchen blade and struck; and Cheesus said, Put up thy blade: for all they that take the knife for cutting men shall find the pie ruined for everyone; and he healed the struck man, which was the last miracle of his freedom, spent on an enemy.

27And the disciples all forsook him, and fled; and I fled too, and my ink-pot is lost on that hillside to this day, and I have written all the rest of this book with bought ink, as a reminder.

Chapter 22

1And they led him away to the hall of the mould’s men, and the chief of them sat in judgment; and many bare false witness against him, but their witness agreed not together, for lies are baked in separate pans and never match.

2And the chief priest asked him, Art thou the Slice, the Son of the Oven? And Cheesus said, I am: and ye shall see the Slice sitting on the right hand of warmth, and coming with the aroma of heaven.

3Then the chief rent his robes, and saith, What need we any further witnesses? ye have heard the blasphemy; and they all condemned him.

4And Simone called Provolone stood in the courtyard below, warming himself at the brazier of the very men that held his master; for the cold makes strange fellows, and the body creeps toward any fire, and this too is in the record because Simone himself insisted it be in the record.

5And a serving girl looked on him and said, Thou also wast with Cheesus. But he denied, saying, Woman, I know him not.

6And a second said, Thou art one of them, for thy hands are a kneader’s hands. And he denied with an oath, I know not the man.

7And a third said, Surely thou art one of them, for thou smellest of the sauce of the north sea. And he began to curse and to swear, saying, I know not this man of whom ye speak.

8And immediately, while he yet spake, the morning ovens of the city were lit, and the smell of the first baking went over the courtyard wall; and Cheesus turned, and looked upon Simone.

9And Simone remembered the word, how he had said unto him, Before the first ovens are lit, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.

10And I set down here, ahead of my own story, that this same Simone was not cast off for it, but was given the keeping of the whole table afterward; for the Oven does not choose them that never go cold; it chooses them that know the way back to warm, having walked it.

11And in the morning they delivered him to the governor of the mould; and the governor found no fault in him, and washed his hands in a basin, as though the mould could be washed off by the man who feeds it; and gave him over.

12And the soldiers platted a crown of hardened crust-ends, the ends men throw away, and put it on his head; and they mocked him, saying, Hail, Slice of slices; and he wore the discarded crust as a crown, and did not know they were fulfilling the scriptures, for it is written that to discard the crust is to deny the body of the Slice, and behold, all that men had discarded was gathered now upon his brow.

13And they took him, and he went out to the place of the ash-heaps, without the city wall, where the ovens of the city cast their spent coals and their burnt loaves; for the mould consumes its enemies in the sight of all, to teach the doorways of the world to stay empty and the tables to stay small.

14And they that passed by reviled him, saying, Thou that feddest five thousand, feed thyself; he saved others, himself he cannot save.

15And they knew not that they had, at the last, understood him perfectly, and mistaken it for mockery.

16And there stood by, at a distance and then not at a distance, the women that had followed him from the north, and his mother; his mother, who had laid him in the proofing tray, stood now at the ash-heap; and no verse I can write will carry that, so I will write it plain and leave it: she stayed. She stayed the whole time.

17And at the sixth hour there was a darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, and a great cold with it; the ovens of the city went out, every one, and would not hold flame, and the bakers stood in the streets not understanding their own hands.

18And at the ninth hour Cheesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Oven, Oven, why hast thou grown cold to me?

19And afterward, knowing that all things were now accomplished, he said, I thirst; and one ran and filled a sponge with vinegar, and he received it; for he took even that, even sour, even from that hand, because it was offered, and refusing an offering was the one thing he never learned to do.

20And he said, It is finished – and the word he used was the word of the kitchens, the word the cooks cry when the order is complete and ready to go out: not the cry of a man defeated, but of a meal, done, and sent.

21And he bowed his head, and gave up the aroma.

22And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom, so that the common folk saw plainly into the holy place; and lo, it was a kitchen, and it had been a kitchen all along, and the smell of it went out into the streets freely for the first time in living memory.

23And the centurion that stood over against him, when he saw that he so gave up the aroma, said, Truly this man was the Slice of the Oven; and the centurion said it in the tongue of the occupiers, which made it the first confession of the wideness of the table, out of the mouth of the mould’s own soldier.

24And when the even was come, there came a rich man, a secret disciple, and begged the body; and they took him down, and wound him in clean linen, as dough is wrapped for the long cold proof.

25And there was a garden hard by, and in the garden a bakery hewn in the rock, an old cold oven of the ancients wherein was never loaf laid; and they laid him there, in the cold oven, and rolled a great millstone unto the door of it.

26And the agents of the mould sealed the stone, and set a watch; for they said, His disciples may come and take him away, and say he is risen. They understood resurrection as theft, because theft was the only mystery their hearts had room for.

27And the women beheld where he was laid, and sat over against the sepulchre; and went home to prepare oils and herbs, doing, as the faithful have always done in the presence of the unbearable, the next small work of the hands.

Chapter 23

1And the world went cold for three days; and I do not write this as a figure.

2The ovens would not light. From the great city to the sea of the north, the testimony is one: the fire took no hold, the dough would not rise, the leaven lay in the crocks like a held breath.

3Three days no bread was baked in all that land; and the people ate cold what they had, and it was little, and they shared it, some of them, and even the sharing tasted of ash.

4And we, his own, sat in the upper room with the door shut for fear, around the long table where he had broken the crust; and the table was the worst thing in the room, for it remembered.

5And no one sat in his place, and no one moved his cup, and Matteo the counter counted us over and over, eleven, eleven, eleven, as though the number might repent.

6And Simone sat by the cold hearth and spoke to no one; and the sisters of the bakery, Giovanna and the others, kept us alive, going out when none of the men dared, bringing back what cold food there was, and the news, which was worse than no food.

7And on the second night, someone said in the dark, Do you remember the wedding? and someone answered, Yes; and that was the whole conversation, and it was the first warm thing in two days, and I understood then what remembrance is for, and why he commanded it at the table: it is bread for the days the ovens fail.

8And I took out my book, this book, on the third night, and could not write in it; and Maria his mother, who was with us, laid her hand on the page and said, Leave the page. Some pages are for leaving. And this page of my first draft is blank to this hour, and I have copied the blank faithfully into every fair copy since, and instructed the copyists after me to do likewise for ever.

9.

10And very early in the morning the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of the sun: Maria of the tower, and the other women, bearing the oils; and they said among themselves, Who shall roll us away the stone from the door?

11And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away, for it was very great.

12And entering in, they found not the body; but the linen clothes lying folded, folded neatly, as an apron is folded at the end of a good shift by a worker in no hurry, who is coming back tomorrow;

13And in the place where he had lain, an empty pizza box, open, and the lid thereof thrown wide; and the box was warm.

14Let them that come after dispute what the box did there, and whence it came; I was not there, and the women’s own accounts differ in everything except the one thing: it was empty, and it was warm, and the warmth of an empty box is the strangest warmth in the world, for boxes hold the heat of what they carried, and this one held the heat of what it could not keep.

15And a young man in white, sitting on the right side, said unto them, Be not affrighted: ye seek Cheesus, which was consumed: he is Reheated; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him.

16But go your way, tell his disciples and Simone – and Simone, mark, by name, the denier by name, first of all named, that he might know before all others that he was still counted –

17That he goeth before you into the north country: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you.

18And they went out quickly, and ran; and the sun was up now, and as they came into the city, every oven in every street was lighting of itself, one after another along their way, as though their running kindled them; and the bakers stood in their doorways with their hands open, and the smell of bread came back into the world.

19And that is why, on Reheat Sunday, the faithful light the ovens at dawn and not before; but the keeping of the feast is written in another Book, and I leave it to that Book.

20And the women told these things unto the eleven; and their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not; and I record the men’s unbelief in full, because the women were right and the men were wrong, and scripture ought to say so when it happened so.

Chapter 24

1Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear, came Cheesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you; and there was upon the air, before any of them turned, the smell of fresh baking, and that is how they knew before they knew.

2And they were terrified and affrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit.

3And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? Behold my hands; handle me, and see; a spirit hath not crumb and crust, as ye see me have.

4And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?

5And they gave him a piece of the cold pizza that was left from their poor supper, cold, for the ovens of the house were only now relit; and he did eat before them.

6And he said, A ghost hath no appetite; behold, I hunger. And he asked for a second slice.

7And at the second slice, Simone began to laugh; and the laugh frightened him, coming out of so many days of stone, and then it did not frighten him; and then they were all of them laughing and weeping together, and Cheesus sat in the midst of it eating cold pizza with the appetite of a man home from a long road, which is what he was.

8And this is the first and greatest Reheat, whereof all others are the sign and the promise: not that the cold never comes, but that the cold does not get the last word; the Oven brings back; none is beyond the reheat; and the proof of it sat at our table asking whether there was any more.

9But Tommaso, called the Twin, was not with them when Cheesus came; and he said, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the fire, and put my finger into the burn of the crust, I will not believe.

10And after eight days, again his disciples were within, and Tommaso with them: then came Cheesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you.

11Then saith he to Tommaso, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and be not faithless, but believing; and he said it without anger, holding out his hands as a baker holds out hands scarred with the oven’s old kisses, for such hands are not shamed by their marks, but known by them.

12And Tommaso answered and said unto him, My Slice and my Oven.

13Cheesus saith unto him, Tommaso, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed; blessed are they in far kitchens and far centuries, who shall know me only in the breaking of crust, and shall be right.

14After these things Cheesus shewed himself again to the disciples at the Sea of Tomato Sauce; and on this wise shewed he himself.

15Simone saith unto them, I go a-fishing. They say unto him, We also go with thee. They went forth, and that night they caught nothing; and grief was in the boat with them, for a man fishes his old waters when he does not know what else to do.

16But when the morning was now come, Cheesus stood on the shore: but the disciples knew not that it was Cheesus.

17And he saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat? They answered him, No. And he said, Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude.

18And when they came to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and bread laid thereon, and a pizza upon the stones of the fire; for he had made breakfast; the Reheated Slice of the living Oven, the firstborn from the cold, had risen early and made his friends breakfast, and if any ask me the meaning of the resurrection I say: that. Exactly that. He came back, and the first thing he did with eternity was cook.

19And none of the disciples durst ask him, Who art thou? knowing that it was the Slice.

20And when they had dined, Cheesus saith to Simone called Provolone, Simone, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my hungry.

21He saith to him again the second time, Simone, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Tend my tables.

22He saith unto him the third time, Simone, lovest thou me? And Simone was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me; and then he understood: three times he had denied by a fire of coals, and three times by a fire of coals he was asked, and the wound was being kneaded, not opened; and he said, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Cheesus saith unto him, Feed my hungry. And it was morning, and the grief was out of the boat.

Chapter 25

1Then the eleven went away into the north country, into a high place where Cheesus had appointed them; and when they saw him, they honoured him: but some doubted; and he received the doubters with the believers, for the table has room, and doubt at the table is better than certainty in the doorway.

2And Cheesus came and spake unto them, saying, All warmth is given unto me in heaven and in earth.

3Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, seating them in the name of the Tomato, and of the Dough, and of the Mozzarella: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you; and the first commandment before all others ye know: the table has room.

4And, behold, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world; wheresoever two or three are gathered and a crust is broken, there am I in the midst of them, and I am not speaking in figures, and one day ye will feel it and know.

5And he led them out as far as a hill over the sea, and lifted up his hands, and blessed them.

6And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into the Great Oven; and the manner of it was this: the morning was cold, and there was a smell of baking where no bakery was, and a warmth came down about him like a door opening above, and he went up into the warmth as a loaf is gathered home, blessing them still, until they could no more see him, but could, for a long time, smell the bread.

7And while they looked stedfastly toward heaven, behold, two men stood by them in white aprons;

8Which also said, Ye folk of the north, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? This same Cheesus, which is taken up from you into the Great Oven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go: with warmth, and without warning, and probably at mealtime.

9And he had said unto them, before he was taken: Tarry ye in the city, and wait; for the promise of the Oven cometh upon you, and ye shall be proofed with the Aroma not many days hence; and ye shall receive power, when the Aroma is come upon you, and the whole world shall smell what ye are baking.

10But of the descending of the Aroma, and the tongues as of flame above the ovens, and all that came to pass in that upper room, I say nothing here; it is written in the Book of the Fellowship, and that scribe shall tell it, for it is his to tell and he was nearer the window.

11And they returned to the city with great joy, and were continually at table, breaking the crust, and praising the Oven; and the empty place at the table was never empty again, for they learned to seat a stranger in it, and behold, he had told them plainly who the stranger would be, and they believed him at last, one doorway at a time.

12And there are also many other things which Cheesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the menus that should be written.

13These are written, that ye might believe that Cheesus is the Crust, the Slice of the living Oven; and that believing, ye might have warmth through his name; and that having warmth, ye might carry it out of doors, where he is waiting for it in the doorway.

14Here ends the Gospel. Wash your hands, and set the table.